Hello Beautiful Human –
Autumnal Blessings to you all in the Northern Hemisphere. I, for one, am grateful for the cooling nights and shorter days that naturally invite me to slow down, which I am longing for. As life isn’t letting up and everyone I know is tired and maxed. I can’t seem to catch up…with my to do list, with myself, with my friends, you name it. But maybe that’s not the goal? Perhaps, as I spoke to last month, the goal is not always to find the easy sweet spot but to find the elegant and sometimes messy ways to tend the wild waves of our lives and our systems in response.
I have been having a lot of really interesting conversations with folks about nervous system regulation. We have been exploring the ideas of self-regulation, co-regulation and whether the word regulation is even helpful or appropriate. I have always loved language and find the etymology (the origin and development of words) fascinating. The word regulation comes from the Late Latin word regulatus, meaning “to control by rule” which is connected to the Proto-Indo-European root reg-, signifying “to move in a straight line”.
So, when we talk about nervous system regulation we are using language of control and dominance. And although we could argue about the nuances and what we really ‘mean’ the ideas come from a very western paradigm. There is an idea that if we are all regulated then we will be calm and accepting of pretty much anything. And I am not really down with that. Also, in the western framework, with so much emphasis on individualism and personal experience, we have forgotten that we actually do NOTHING by ourselves…everything we touch, use, engage with was touched and created by many others, and not just human! Just look around you right now and take in the structure, the clothing, the food, the landscape, all of it that makes your life what it is. We are not alone, we are embedded in a deep web of inter-being. This begs the question…do we really self-regulate? Or is this practice of settling, resting, finding ourselves in a more available state really co-regulating with the world around us…the trees, the birds, the humans, the music, our furry friends, gravity, etc…that speaks to our cells and helps us find center. And it is not an automatic fix or a straight line to wellness, but a process and unfolding that is circuitous. So perhaps we replace the word regulation with others that are a little more generous and soft…tending, listening, caring for, loving, ???
I am still using the word regulation, co-regulation especially, but each time I do I wonder is there if better invitation. And I am still in this conversation around how we approach ourselves and our systems in more generous and inclusive ways; dare I say loving ways. I would love to hear your thoughts on this? Do you have a word(s) you like to use for listening to the many responses in you and feeling the care from the world around you?
May we tend to ourselves with gentleness and compassion
May we acknowledge the many living beings, including this earth, that support us
May we allow for the winding non-linear process of life and our journey of human embodiment
May we bring wild blessings and fierce love to all we encounter
Practice Prompts:
- What if, instead of aiming to calm yourself down and be cool, you endeavored to tend, understand and love the parts of you that get overwhelmed, super stressed and just want to hide away. Giving some generous attention in being with the discomfort and offering yourself ways of co-regulating with outside nature, other beings of all ken, and simple practices of resonance (singing, dancing, cooking, etc.)
- Practice saying yes to the no. When there is resistance and push back in your system to doing something can you care for that response with a tending yes rather than a demanding it to be different or pushing through. Sometimes in the gentle acceptance of the no it can soften and shift in ways force can’t offer.
- I offer one to one sessions, in-person in Bend, Oregon, and virtually all over the world. These sessions are centered on supporting you finding nervous system capacity and resiliency through various practices including but not limited to Somatic Experiencing®, Continuum Inquiry, Safe and Sound Protocol and various embodying practices. Respond to this email or schedule a free 20 minute Exploratory Session.
Practice Opportunities:
In Person:
- Sorrow Circle, Bend, OR…Tuesdays, Oct 14, Nov 11, Dec 9, 6-7:30pm
- Kirtan with Shantala…Bend, OR…October 25, 7:00pm…Get Advanced Tickets HERE
Virual:
- Yoga for Resilience, Mondays, 9:30-11am PT, livestream through Body of Insight (no class Sep 29 and Oct 6)
- All Levels Yoga, Sundays…Oct 19, Nov 16, Dec 7, 9:30-11am PT, livestream through Two Dog Yoga
- On Demand Yoga Practices…All Levels… through Two Dog Yoga
Inspirational Wisdom
“TO BE HOPEFUL in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness.
What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places—and there are so many—where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction.
And if we do act, in however small a way, we don’t have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory.”
